Why so tense?

Present participle:

Past participle:

Past tense:

1 Weird Trick to Get Your Screenplay Made!

Can't sell that screenplay? Alimony wearing you down? Coke prices skyrocketing? No problem! Sell your screenplay to comics! Yes, comic book publishers are pleased as punch to have any whiff of Hollywood on their product! It doesn't take any skill or understanding of the genre to make comics - and you certainly don't have to draw! Sell your screenplay to comics and before long, you'll be a power player!

Because once you've made a deal for your screenplay in comics, you can turn around and sell it back to Hollywood! Boy, won't they feel foolish for turning you down last March, huh? Now your previously untested property has a following of 4,000 readers - more than enough to gamble an entire television series or film franchise upon!

But it's not only screenwriters who can get into the act! Wise comics professionals can sell their misogynistic, misanthropic man-child musings to Hollywood for fast cash! If Hollywood's got your number, then the comics industry will have to take notice of you!

Don't worry - Hollywood knows what's wrong with your comics! they'll smooth over the imperfections and apply their decades of experience so that it's no longer your voice, but that of a traditional three-act screenplay. What do you care? You've got your money!

It won't happen overnight. You might have to shop around for a decade. Persistence is the key. Also, you must actually publish your comic book - it's no longer good enough to simply claim the comic is in-development - you'll have to take a risk and publish. Some people in Hollywood actually know what "vaporware" is. But don't worry - the comics industry is full of people desperate for money; those chumps won't even ask for a percentage of what the film makes! It's like getting your storyboards for free!

But once you've published, the risk-taking is over. Coast your screenplay gently all the way to Hollywood's shores. The best part is, Hollywood doesn't understand how comics work! If you claim you've written a hit property - well, they'll just have to take your word for it!

Heck, you could theoretically bankroll an entire publishing empire around selling comics to Hollywood. It doesn't matter if only 1 out of every 5 comics makes it to the screen. Sell enough options to keep the lights on and publish just enough to get buyers curious.

Then - BOOM! Sold. Now you can get out of publishing and into film making, where your talents will be truly appreciated.

In fact, skip the comic. The concept art should be enough to seal the deal.

And don't forget who let you in on this trick! Seriously, don't. I just need you to look at my screenplay, it's really good...

Latent Hostility

The cover of Pep Comics #44 (art by Bob Montana, 1943):

I have no mouth and I must scream

The most striking thing about this cover is the terrifying visage of Archie Andrews, transmorgified into a living football. The second most striking thing is to consider who's kicking him: The Shield. The Shield was once the leading character published by the company which became Archie Comics; that the publisher is now called Archie Comics tells you what the future portended for the Shield. In that respect, at least he got a good kick in while he could.

Archie took another attempt at super heroes in the 1960s, reviving most of their 40s heroes but their 60s super hero books are considered some of the worst super hero stories ever printed by a major publisher. Covers such as the above Josie #22 (1966, Dan DeCarlo art) demonstrated their thinly-veiled contempt for the rising popularity of Marvel Comics and the Batmania craze.

What's your favourite Aerosmith song, Superman?

The great war on robot junk

cover to Planet Comics #64 (1950)

No wonder robots hate humanity.

Casablanca: the comic book

Casablanca is one of the most-frequently referenced films in all of popular culture and comic books are certainly no exception.

Is it possible, then, to reconstruct Casablanca from its various comic book references? Could such an effort prove even the least bit coherent?

It has no hope of being coherent, but I had fun assembling this anyway.

Winterworld: breaking the political divide

Earlier this year, Chuck Dixon - who may have his name on more Batman comics than any other writer - added to his authorial credits an article for the Wall Street Journal where he bemoaned the forces of liberalism in the comic book industry. He also appeared on Fox News to repeat his dirge.

Obviously, a Conservative speaking to Conservatives about something Conservatives aren't terribly interested in to begin with isn't going to affect much change; indeed, the greatest impact I saw from Dixon's efforts were increased attacks on him by comics fandom. But leave us not be divisive - how can we bridge the gap between comic book-reading Conservatives, Liberals and the rest of us who truly do not care? Perhaps Dixon himself has the solution.

In 1987, Dixon authored a short-lived comic book series for Eclipse titled Winterworld. It's set in a catastrophic future where the Earth has been covered with snow and ice and humanity must forage for survival, barely able to grow any crops to sustain themselves. The chief protagonist, Scully, drives a vehicle which can run on almost any form of fuel and he wanders the frozen globe, looking out for himself (and his pet badger Rah-Rah; also, teenage waif Wynn).

Obviously there's nothing particularly political about the concept, but that's not my point - Dixon has a pretty good record of keeping politics out of his stories to begin with. Carrying on, the original Winterworld stories were collected by IDW in 2011 and earlier this year Dixon began a new series which seems to be existing as a series of mini-series (there's also a TV show being developed).

In issue #3 (from which these panels, drawn by Butch Guice, originate), Scully has found a veritable paradise in an unfrozen part of South America, so naturally genre-savvy readers are curious to learn what the "catch" will be. Obviously Scully's journey can't end here (not if the series is to continue), so what's wrong with these folk? They're very interested in Scully's vehicle and reveal they have enormous stockpiles of fuel. However, they don't want Scully to go driving on missions for them, but to simply pour the fuel in and let the engines run.

One of the locals explains their theory: the Earth became a frozen wasteland because there weren't enough cars emitting co2 to cause global warming; their plan to save the Earth is to return to the ways of their ancestors, as detailed in a sacred book; Scully can't read Spanish and doesn't recognize the tome but it's obvious to we readers that the book is a copy of Al Gore's Earth in the Balance.

Now that? That's pretty funny! When you're aware of Dixon's politics you might read the scene as being anti-climate change (because climate change is something Conservatives are lockstep against for... unclear reasons). But the scene is funny because we're privy to information the characters aren't. Their situation is tragic, but their attempted solution is so clearly misinformed that it can't help but be amusing.

This, then, is something which Conservatives, Liberals and the apathetic can all agree upon: Al Gore is funny!

Presenting: the greatest snakes of Escape!

Over at Escape-Suspense.com, webmaster Christine A. Miller has occasionally had a little fun with the beloved Old-Time Radio program Escape and its propensity for using snakes; from her review of the missing episode "Pagosa":

"Still, we know that Escape's version would probably have had Ben Wright in the cast, it probably wasn't as focused on the romantic feelings of the characters, and that they probably tossed in a deadly snake somewhere, just to call it their own. (That's just a guess.)"

She says this because snakes would frequently cameo in programs such as "This Side of Nowhere," "The Red Forest," "Pollock and the Pooroh Man" and "Earth Abides." Moreover, snakes frequently held crucial roles in certain memorable episodes.

The years when Escape aired over CBS (1947-1954) were a veritable golden age for snakes, thanks largely to their powerful collective bargaining. Families planted victory snake gardens! Motorists carpooled with snakes! Snakes for president! Until the powerful lobbyist group controlled by Indiana Jones brought it all crumbling down...

Let's revisit our favourite scaly friends from the Escape series, shall we?

This dear fellow is the bushmaster, the world's longest viper, called by some "the mute rattlesnake" - but better to known to us as "mute fate!" In Escape's "A Shipment of Mute Fate," a ship at sea transporting a caged bushmaster must face the terror caused by the creature's accidental escape - and it climaxes with a terrible battle for life! You may download the episode from archive.org here!

Next we have the cottonmouth, the snake rendered famous by Rednex's song "Cotton Mouth Joe" (I'm sure I have that right). The cottonmouth is a semi-aquatic viper, which is part of the terror exploited by Escape when they employed the mere suggestion of a cottonmouth to horrify in "Snake Doctor." This is the story of a none-too-clever rural man who decides to murder the local "hoodoo" man, suspecting he's made a vast fortune from harvesting snake oil. You may download the episode from archive.org here.

Nobody likes the krait; being one of the Earth's most venomous serpents, he doesn't get invited to parties. Nor is the driving figure of Escape "Poison" quite fond of kraits when he awakens to find one has nestled up under his blanket! However, the title of the story refers not to the creature's venom, but poison of another kind (at least, so my grade 10 English teacher claimed). You may download "Poison" from archive.org here!

The infamous cobra got the V.I.P. treatment from Escape, earning his name in the title of "Serenade for a Cobra." This concerns an unscrupulous pilot who doesn't like the radio operator's penchant for snake charming. However, the snake charmer quickly finds a way to force the pilot listen to his music by leaving his pet in the cockpit; boy, what some artists won't do for an audience... You may download the episode from archive.org here!

The deadly python has retreated from public life over the stigma of being associated with both Jennifer Lopez and Nicki Minaj. Seemingly an almost perpetually-shy snake, the muscular python appears only briefly in the Escape episode "Bloodbath," but it's quite memorable; and heck, if there isn't enough python for you then you should enjoy the electric eels, piranhas and vampire bats! You may download the episode from archive.org here!

Finally we have the... uh... gray snake? This fellow may not be identified but he's easily the most persistent snake in all of Escape as in the episode "The Footprint" he trails his victims through the desert with a single-mindedness the shark from Jaws would envy. Check it out at archive.org here!

Have a hissing good time!

Too Busy Not Thinking About My Comics

Recently, David Brothers commented on the impact quitting comics from the major publishers had on him. Having similarly quit Marvel & DC Comics myself about two years ago, it caused me to reflect on my own decision and what it's meant to me.

In short, it has meant:

#1: Less Blogging

I've never been terrific at regular blogging, but although I have had more free time since I stopped working for Marvel, it hasn't translated into more time spent blogging. With fewer comics entering my house, I've had fewer reasons to blog. Not that this blog has ever had a particular theme - I continue to blog about books, old-time radio, films and my personal life - but comics have been my primary topic and being out-of-touch with Marvel & DC, I don't have anything to say about the majority of the medium.

#2: Avoiding the Comic Book Movies ...Kinda?

Since I made the decision to stop supporting Marvel & DC, I went to see Iron Man 3 (because a friend needed a last-minute substitute for a purchased ticket), Thor: the Dark World & Captain America: the Winter Soldier (both because I had free passes). I did not go to see the Avengers (borrowed a DVD), either Amazing Spider-Man movie (truly didn't want to, either), Man of Steel, the Wolverine or X-Men: Days of Future Past. Also, although television programs don't involve money, I haven't seen Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D..

How has that been? It's lousy.

For the Avengers & the Wolverine, sticking by my principles meant ducking out of seeing movies with my friends, cheating myself out of a good time. Heck, I really went to see Star Trek: Into Darkness & Godzilla to make up for those missed opportunities with my friends, not because I particularly wanted to see those flicks.

As to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., I mention it because one of my friends is watching it and enjoys it. He doesn't know much about comics, but he likes the show; he expected I'd be watching it too (even though I don't watch TV - I have no subscription service) and it's bothered him that he can't talk about it with me. I don't watch Game of Thrones either, but Agents is the show I'm really hounded over. In fact, several times he's accused me of holding out: "You're secretly watching it, aren't you?" No, I repeatedly inform him, I've never seen it. I almost wish I had so I could hold some informed discussions with him (then again, maybe not because the show sounds crummy).

Recently another friend asked if I would go see X-Men: Days of Future Past with him, then recalled I had that self-imposed moral standard. So he'll probably go see it without me; sigh. Taking a stand on principles is all well and good, but I don't like being cut off from my friends. Why'd comic book movies have to attain that mainstream credibility?

(I am currently considering watching Edge of Tomorrow with my friends as a substitute for X-Men. Geez, what will I wind up watching to make up for Guardians of Galaxy, I wonder? Expendables 3?)

#2: I Make Fewer Trips to the Comic Shop

For about my last 18 months with Marvel I received comp packages of everything they published so I had already begun to be weaned from the weekly trip to the comic shop; still, I made regular trips during that time and for many months afterward; maybe three times a month at first... maybe twice per month after.

Currently, I visit the shop about 3-4 times a year. Yikes. Since obtaining an ipad, I've been content to purchase items for my device and save a little coin by waiting for the prices to drop (usually one month after release). Further, to reduce costs I buy my trade paperbacks & most graphic novels through Amazon and my back issues from My Comic Shop.com. Between them, I tend to have comics at my fingertips whenever I feel like it. However...

#3: I Purchase Fewer Comics in General

When I was an every-week comic shop visitor, in addition to my regular books I would often sample other titles, especially new #1 launches, often decided on the spur of the moment in the shop. These impulse-purchases almost never impressed me (as the scads of #1s with no accompanying #2s in my collection will bear witness), yet despite the ease of purchasing, I don't impulse-buy on the ipad. In fact, I tend to hoard my purchases together - some I've been mulling over for 18 months (one of these days, Orc Stain, one of these days).

There are plenty of free comics on the ipad (usually issue #1s) but I almost never take the plunge even at a cost of $0; I follow familiar titles and creators, period. I've stopped taking risks with unfamiliar books (and both my bank account and storage space are grateful).

And yet, there was a time when I took chances on new books like Street Angel or Rex Libris and found new, lifelong favourites (both in series and creators). Not every comic book can be so meaningful, yet I wonder what I might be missing out on right now - and whether I'll be able to catch up on the ipad.

Yet I don't think too much about it because of...

#4: A General Feeling of Ennui

A while ago I blogged about the Crowd, which had been the most-elusive film on a list of pictures I had been trying to see and had taken me many years to get through. Now, the list is done. Similarly, my comic book habit is at a point where I'm mostly at peace with the size of my collection, with only a few older books being of interest. Then there's my old-time radio hobby which, by its nature had only a finite amount of material for me and which I'm realizing more and more has reached its peak; I'm also unwilling to upgrade to the new Xbox and consider my video game habit is going to have to wind down.

Geez; what will I do in my spare time?

Fortunately, there will always be new comic books and movies for me to enjoy, no matter how fussy I am - but there's no longer this vast store of treasures for me to unearth, I've studied both medias to the point where, if it exists, then I've either tried it or decided it's not to my tastes. Heck, it was only in the last decade that I discovered the films of Errol Morris and went through a blissful period of seeing his pictures, plus rediscovering Stan Sakai's Usagi Yojimbo and putting a full collection together. Yet, now the initial deluge is over and I'm limited to experiencing new Morris or Sakai as they come into existence; there is nothing left in the archive for me.

The one medium I haven't exhausted is books; wonderful books! Fortunately, my interests in fiction & non-fiction run deep enough to keep me reading for many years to come - but it's disheartening to find myself with a free evening and to think, "well, what shall I watch?" and realize "nothing, unless I want to rewatch something from my library," or, "hey, why don't I read a comic?" and go, "but there's nothing new I want to buy and I'm not in the mood to reread my collection." Yeah, somehow...

#6: I Don't Reread My Comics Any More

When I was working for Marvel there was no way around it - I had to read comics all the time. It was work. Usually, very pleasurable work (barring that period where it seemed like half of what Marvel published were wretched Deadpool comics). Still, anything which caused me dig back into DeFalco's Spider-Girl, Simonson's Thor, Nicieza's New Warriors or Englehart's Avengers would certainly be pleasant; heck, no matter how pressing my deadlines were, there was no way I'd simply dig the information I needed from an issue of Moench's Master of Kung Fu and move on - heck no! - I'd take a few minutes to enjoy rereading the book.

When I stopped working for Marvel, I no longer had to read comics. Hooray! I turfed everything I owned for research purposes only, reducing myself to just the couple thousand books I truly loved. At the same time, I bought a house where (at last!) my collection could have a room to itself, neatly arranged for me to enjoy at any time. But those comics might as well be behind glass display cases for all the attention I lavish on them; I simply am not reading them, not anymore.

Now that I'm not involved in whatever the Hulk's up to these days, I can't work up the interest to reread Planet Hulk, y'know? And since I'm not witnessing the (certain to exist) continuity errors in Bendis' Guardians of the Galaxy, I don't dig out the Lanning/Abnett issues for the straight dope.

I'm cured! I can pass as normal! Yeah! Now I'm not the guy who thinks about comics all the time! Hooray! ...Instead, it's my friends who want to go see the movies and quiz me about the laws governing who can pick up Thor's hammer and whether Spider-Man was ever an Avenger.

Fantastic.

*sigh*

Who was harmed the most by Steve Ditko's Speedball? Besides we readers, I mean.

A recent comment on the internet on the subject of comic book creators not deserving more than what their original contracts stipulated (presented anonymously):

"The thing is this. Steve Ditko is not coming out anytime soon looking for that Speedball money. He also is not going to pay Marvel back for the money lost printing that terrible book. It was not his risk, it was Marvels."

Let's unpack this statement, shall we?

First, there's the assumption Marvel "lost" money on Steve Ditko's Speedball, which published 10 issues between 1988-1989 before cancellation; Marvel was left holding several unpublished stories at the time of cancellation but gradually printed them via avenues such as Marvel Comics Presents and Marvel Super-Heroes.

It's hard for Marvel to lose money printing comics. Not impossible, but hard. Because they deal to the direct market and do not accept returns, overprinting is (by design) a diminished problem. There's also the voodoo involved in how much the book costs to produce; I worked on a series for Marvel which at one time sold 5K per month (direct market) and heard from my editor the book was "too profitable" to be cancelled.

The true risk-takers were the direct market retailers who - based on past performance - judged how many copies they could sell of a Marvel Comics-published Steve Ditko super hero comic and were then (evidently) proved wrong. Certainly the copious amounts of Speedball issues in bargain bins across North America speaks to their folly.

But ultimately how did this harm Marvel? Yes, for a time they had stories in inventory which they had paid for but couldn't recoup costs through printing. However, they had also wound up with a new IP - the character of Speedball. One year after his own book's cancellation, Speedball leaped into the pages of Fabian Nicieza & Mark Bagley's New Warriors, bearing a new personality which made him a fan-favourite and helped make this latter series a big new property for the company. Further, the renewed interest in Speedball enabled Marvel to print the remaining inventory issues without being burned at the stake by the comics community. To this day, Speedball remains a useful character in their IP farm.

So, the intellectual property "Speedball" endured beyond his failed series. Were retailers so upset by Speedball that they avoided supporting new Marvel properties? Hardly! New Warriors was one of several "Heroes for the 90s" properties Marvel sold to retailers and, with the rising speculator boom, retailers simply increased the amount they were ordering from Marvel.

If the retailers blamed anyone over Speedball - well, the buck doesn't stop with the corporation, it stops with Steve Ditko. I can well believe the series' failure damaged retailers' confidence in ordering new properties from Ditko's hand. His involvement with the now-successful Speedball property ended when the last inventory story saw print. So who, if anyone, should Ditko apologize to? Probably himself.

Publishers do take risks with new material, but let's not delude ourselves into thinking the creators aren't also taking risks. Their reputations are on the line with every job, as the career of Herb Trimpe bears witness. They have to somehow keep work flowing steadily, usually without the benefit of talent agents or business managers. As Kurt Busiek has often observed, freelance comic creators are in business for themselves and it's tough to come up with the capital to run your career like a business when the work only pays you hand-to-mouth.

Now, in the case of something like Clive Barker's Razorline comics for Marvel - an expensive series of titles which flopped hard - there, Marvel would be holding the short end of the stick; after the dust cleared, they didn't even own the Razorline characters so they couldn't write the initiative off as "creative development." Creator-owned books are a much bigger risk to the publishers.

Therefore, change the above internet comment to invoke Barker and Razorline and the statement is fixed. You're welcome, internet!

Star Trek: Into Snarkness

While watching Star Trek: Into Darkness last night, a number of thoughts pranced through my head; some are laudatory, most are snarky. As the #1 film at the box office for two weeks so far, I'm sure they're big enough to take it.

My friend Craig prepared me for the film by describing it as "better than Star Trek: Nemesis... like Star Trek: New Voyages with a budget." That helped.

As Kirk & McCoy leap off a cliff:

"Looks like we'll have to... JUMP!"

"STAR TREK 2: THIS TIME, IT'S DEFINITELY NOT STAR TREK 1!"

Enterprise is unable to beam staff because of the volcano:

I realize later on they declare they can't use Scotty's transwarp from the previous movie any more, but it's quite something to go from the previous film's ridiculously powerful galaxy-spanning transporters to this film's transporters, which are useless every time the good guys need them.

Spock declares the volcano will wipe out the "species":

Is this volcano going to cause a global upheaval which will annihilate all life on the planet? 'Cause from here, it looks like a village is in jeopardy, not a "species." Mount Vesuvius has tried it's best, but the human species has survived it so far.

Khan offers to help a Starfleet officer save his daughter; the officer asks, "Who are you?" The camera focuses on Khan's face for several seconds, but he doesn't speak:

"Oh crap! Who am I? Want to say... Susan? No, no, no, not right! Play it cool, he's starting to stare back, don't give away... damn, he's on to me! I've got nothing!"

Kirk is in bed with two cat-women:

Why must Star Trek insist on courting the furry community?

Pike relieves Kirk of his command:

It's almost as though a guy who never graduated the Academy and cheated on his tests is a poor choice for commanding a starship!

Kirk realizes - an instant too late - that Khan knows Starfleet's protocols in case of a disaster and is preparing an attack on their location:

It's nice that Starfleet has protocols in place for when someone bombs their facilities... pity they have no protocols in place for when staff possessing classified information turn on them.

Kirk wields a fire hose against an aircraft strafing a skyscraper:

"What are you doin', Jim? What the f*** are you doin', Jim?"

Admiral Pike dies:

WHAT?! They killed the best character and the best actor?!

Kirk wants revenge on Khan:

This is quite a change from last movie, where he wanted revenge on Nero.

"STAR TREK 2: THIS TIME, IT'S DEFINITELY NOT STAR TREK 1!"

The facility Khan destroyed turns out to be Section 31:

As a big DS9 and Section 31 fan, it does amuse me that in spite of fandom's intense reaction against Section 31, it's only become more significant in Star Trek since DS9 ended!

Carol "Wallace" introduces herself:

Very nice Easter egg, considering Carol Marcus was first intended to be the original series character Janet Wallace. That's some mighty obscure trivia!

While on a dangerous away mission, Uhura brings up her relationship problems with Spock; Spock explains he feels emotions, even if he doesn't display them:

Not only is this poor timing on Uhura's part but surely she hasn't been dating him this many years without figuring out how Vulcan emotions work before now?

The Klingons wear headgear obscuring their faces:

This way they save money on makeup! Finally, something we all can agree is true to the spirit of Gene Roddenberry!

Kirk's away team winds up in a firefight between Khan and the Klingons:

In advance, I heard the Klingons came off looking poorly in this film; it's not so much that they're pathetic against Khan, as it is... they're just generic bad guys. The movie's not about them, I don't think it's a problem.

Khan surrenders to Kirk; Kirk reacts by beating him for several seconds:

Joe Don Baker is captain of the Enterprise!

Kirk angrily and tearfully confronts Khan in the brig:

Oh, honey. Please, just keep being yourself - don't try to act.

Kirk offers himself to Admiral Marcus (no, not like that) to save his crew; Marcus refuses:

Not that it isn't a grand gesture on Kirk's part, but what hope did this plan have? Since Kirk broadcast Marcus' entire villainous tirade to the crew, surely he understands Marcus now has to kill them to keep his secrets?

Kirk releases Khan for his help in capturing Vengeance away from Marcus:

Laying aside questions of whether Kirk could've captured the ship any other way, since they know they can't trust Khan, why not place a transponder on him so they can at least track him? It would've come in handy later. Of course, Star Trek technology is such that querying "why didn't they use...?" will tear apart even the best stories (ie, "why not time travel? why not psychic powers?").

Spock sends Khan the torpedoes he wants, but detonates them within Vengeance's deck:

In Wrath of Khan, Spock outwitted Khan after realizing he didn't understand starship combat tactics; in this film, Spock outwits Khan by winning a semantics argument ("the torpedoes are yours"). If Khan is this much of a dope, why not try the "got your nose" trick? You could ransom Khan's nose back to him in exchange for his prisoners.

Khan teleports Kirk, Scotty & Carol into the Enterprise brig:

I realize this only briefly slows down the characters, but even though Enterprise's shields are down, shouldn't the brig be shielded against transporters?

Scotty guides Kirk & Chekov in assisting him in repairing Enterprise's engines:

Is the engineering staff really so useless that without Scotty around, no one bothers to remain at their posts to try and fix this stuff? Start paying the extras more money!

Kirk knocks out Scotty so he can sacrifice himself by realigning the warp core:

Not that I think Kirk should've sent Scotty to his doom (though it is one of those things captains are supposed to be capable of), but how did Kirk know how to fix the core? Isn't it fortunate for him it required nothing more than caveman-like bludgeoning to get the power back online?

Just think of all the trouble Starfleet could save themselves if they bought a few robot arms for use in radiation-heavy zones. I think Tony Stark has a couple he's not using...

Scotty tells Spock he'd "better get down here; better hurry.":

I don't think a guffaw was the intended reaction.

Kirk has taken a lethal dose of radiation:

See, it's nothing like Wrath of Khan because Pine refused to wear radiation burn-makeup. That would've been a crime against beauty.

Spock converses with Kirk through a glass door:

I'm not buying this - in Wrath of Khan, Spock's death was the culmination of a 15-year friendship. In this continuity, Kirk seems to barely tolerate Spock. I'm sure he'd rather have Scotty or Uhura on the other side of the glass - he's actually friends with them!

It is interesting though, that in this case Kirk's "death" is what seems to begin he and Spock's friendship.

Spock screams KHAAAN!:

Okay, the makers had to know we'd laugh at this, so I feel no shame.

Enterprise & Vengeance crash toward Earth:

Wait, Earth? That brief scene in warp which ended abruptly brought them all the way home? Then why haven't they radioed Starfleet for help before this? Where's the rest of the fleet? How would Marcus have kept his mission secret when any satellite in orbit could be filming him destroying the Enterprise?

Vengeance crashes into a city:

In addition to all the civilian deaths here, whatever became of Vengeance's crew? I mean, all the guys Kirk & Scotty stunned?

Khan leaps "30 meters" to the ground:

"Looks like I'll have to... JUMP!"

"STAR TREK 2: THIS TIME, IT'S DEFINITELY NOT STAR TREK 1!"

The transporters can't find Khan, so they send Spock to him:

In the midst of sighing about the continually useless transporters, I almost missed Chris Doohan's cameo as the transporter chief; nice tip of the hat there.

Spock pursues Khan on foot through the streets of San Francisco:

In case I forgot I was watching a J.J. Abrams program, I suppose. STAR TREK! WHERE NO ONE HAS GONE BEFORE!

Spock leaps from a flying object to another flying object:

"Looks like I'll have to... JUMP!"

"STAR TREK 2: THIS TIME, IT'S DEFINITELY NOT STAR TREK 1!"

Khan, having already shrugged off the Vulcan Nerve Pinch, takes 8 stun blasts from Uhura's phaser and still remains conscious:

Sfdebris has repeatedly noted how useless guns are in Star Trek, but this is a new low; why not just go back to bullets? He's already been condemned to death.

Kirk's medical chart indicates Dr. Boyce:

That's a very unexpected Easter egg; I hope the intern who thought of it got an extra doughnut.

Khan is returned to suspended animation:

Uh... I thought we were told he'd been condemned to death? Is this just to set up the sequel where the Borg revive him? Then they'll have to call up old Spock and old Spock's all, "I can't alter your destinies, but I can tell you this: the Borg are very dangerous. I hope that helps. Where's my money?"

Carol joins the crew of Enterprise for a 5-year mission:

This could actually be very good for Kirk's character development, if he winds up in a serious relationship with her.

The cast are listed in alphabetical order:

Great touch, very appropriate for an ensemble film.