A Game Most Dangerous, Part 12: Conan

Welcome back to A Game Most Dangerous! By Crom, now that we're into black & white magazines it's time to look upon The Savage Sword of Conan #88 (1983) and the story "Isle of the Hunter" by wrtier Michael Fleisher and the art team of John Buscema and Rudy Nebres.

We open in Zamboula, "westernmost outpost of the Turanian Empire, a major trading center in the Kharamun Desert" as Conan stealthily rides a horse into town while a proclamation calling for his capture is read aloud. Ignoring this, Conan heads into the Inn of the Black Falcon for some of their "renowned" Stygian ale. Within the inn, two scantily-clad twin "wenches" are dancing before the patrons, who holler their approval. "What I wouldn't give for a night of doubling my pleasure with those two!" declares one. The twins are named Sabrina and Saroya and they egg on their admirers, telling the men that if they get into a brawl they'll sleep with whoever is the last man standing. Cue the bar brawl! Conan ignores the brawl until one unfortunate soul makes the mistake of clubbing Conan over the head with a bottle. If this were real life, Conan would be unconscious right now. Since Conan exists strictly in the realm of larger-than-life, instead he flies into a rage and starts beating up everyone in the room. Without meaning to, he wins the twins' contest. Conan is still more interested in getting drunk than having the women, but the commotion has drawn the attention of the town guards who arrest our Cimmerian hero.

Conan is taken to be executed but Sabrina and Saroya interrupt the ceremony by killing the executioner and liberating Conan. Conan and the twins fight their way out of the palace and ride away on three horses. He wonders why they came to his rescue; they explain they want his help in plundering "the vast treasure trove of Wazir Hassan Hassad Khan, one of the wealthiest men in the world." It seems the Wazir occupies a castle on an uncharted island in the Vilayet Sea. Conan suggests rounding up some of his allies to help rob the castle but the twins insist this is a one-man operation - that's why they staged the fight in the inn, to find "the one whose cunning and brawn we need!" Conan is concerned about staying ahead of the soldiers who have been sent after them but the twins insist they have a half day's head start now. "Would a huge-chested stallion like yourself be inclined to take only one mare to stud--" asks one twin, "--when he could just as easily have two?" the second finishes. And so cue the polyamorous sex scene, taking advantage of the lack of Comics Code Approval on black & white magazines (but still pretty chaste - it amounts to one panel of the women being naked but framed to strategically prevent any actual nudity).

The next afternoon Conan and the twins continue their trip and reach a boat hidden by the sea. So they set sail to the island, encountering a giant sea monster as they travel, but the twins tell Conan the monster is under the control of the Wazir. As they near the island's shore, one of the twins clubs Conan over the head. I guess his head is thicker than the earlier fight suggested? Or maybe Conan has taken so many concussions over the years that he only feels every other dent to his skull? Anyway, a band of men greet the twins at shore and carry Conan off.

Conan awakens in a forest to find himself unarmed and being hunted by unseen forces armed with bow and arrows. Without any exposition, Conan seems to realize he's in a Most Dangerous Game scenario so starts building traps to kill the hunters in gory fashion (well, about as gory as any of the horror comics I've featured, anyway). Meanwhile the twins are in the Wazir's castle, celebrating with him. The Wazir goes into his Zaroff speech: "As you well know," he begins (but that doesn't prevent his exposition) "I've stalked and bagged all the world's great game beasts in my day! Lion, leopard, unicorn. Even the great ice bear! But, when all is said and done, what sort of quarry, however magnificent, can possibly hope to rival the sport provided by a cunning, battle-seasoned man!" (no question mark, so was that was a rhetorical question?) You might wonder why, if the Wazir wants to hunt Conan, he's not out there right now participating in the hunt. Well, it seems his men are intentionally driving Conan toward the castle: "--So that, as he reaches the very peak and zenith of his barbaric fury, I can dispatch the wild-eyed Zuagir like the savage beast of prey he is!" Err... look Wazir, I'm sure you know your business, but that's not "hunting". At best, you're staging the most dangerous duel.

While Conan flees from the Wazir's men it seems the pursuing soldiers have followed Conan to the uncharted island. You might wonder how they could have possibly followed Conan's trail across the sea, especially since the island is uncharted. Look, it's convenient to the plot, okay? Anyway, Conan's enemies start killing each other while Conan heads to the castle. Just as the Wazir intended! Which, uh, remains a pretty stupid plan.

Conan confronts the Wazir, who permits the barbarian to select any weapon he likes for their duel. Conan then proceeds to easily win the fight and kills the Wazir. Sabrina and Saroya then draw their weapons to fight him, but Conan disarms both women with two swipes of his sword. He then takes the "wenches" hostage because "I may need to barter you for provisions somewhere between here and Zamboula." The twins refuse to come with him so he carries them off, one under each arm until he finds a pair of manacles and chains them up and drags them behind him. Cruelty to women! Just in case you forgot this was a Michael Fleisher comic book! Conan brings the women back to the boat and considers gifting them to his soldiers, noting it's not often his men "enjoy one woman's company, let alone two!" Our hero, wenches and gentlemen. The soldiers see Conan departing and get back to their ship but Conan has taken the Wazir's conch shell, which can be used to control the sea monster from earlier. The monster obligingly destroys the soldiers' boat for Conan. But later Conan's boat springs a slow leak and he observes they'll have to jettison some weight. At this, Sabrina and Saroya turn on each other, trying to murder each other in the hopes of being the one Conan spares. "Lying bitch!" one exclaims as they fight. They go overboard, completely ignoring Conan as he points out they're both going to die. Then the sea monster returns and eats both women. The last word spoken by either twin is "Slut!" The monster leaves Conan alone and our hero sails back across the sea.

My thoughts: It's too bad about Michael Fleisher... not about his reputation as a misogynist, he forged that chain for himself, link by link, yard by yard (and famously lost a libel case over it). No, it's too bad that he set up a perfectly good 'Conan in The Most Dangerous Game' scenario then threw it away. The hunter never even leaves his castle! Frankly, he was more interested in the twins than in the story's supposed antagonist.

There are basically two kinds of women in a Fleisher Conan story: those who submit to Conan and later die and those who refuse to submit to Conan and later die. When it's the woman who propositions Conan rather than the other way around, you know you're headed into scenario #2. When Conan is sexually aggressive towards a woman, that woman is pretty much fated to die (or in certain circumstances end up with another man) so that Conan will briefly experience angst. When a woman is sexually aggressive towards Conan, that woman is almost certainly evil and will be punished for her slutty behaviour.

The Hunter:

• A RussianMiddle Eastern nobleman (2/4 points)
• Who is a big game hunter (4/4 points)
• But is no longer challenged by big game (4/4 points)
• So he hunts men on his secluded island (4/4 points)
• Justifying this through a eugenics/Darwinian philosophy (0/4 points)
• He is aided by his servants, including a disfigured mute (2/4 points)
• And his vicious hunting dogs (0/4 points)
• He obtains his prey by scuttling nearby ships (0/4 points)
• His victims are given a time limit of 3 days; if they are alive at the deadline, they win the hunt (0/4 points)
• As a further example of his sense of "sportsmanship", he will deliberately prolong the hunt if he finds it interesting (0/4 points)
• His victims are placed on display in his trophy room (0/4 points)

The Hunted:

• A famous big game hunterbarbarian (1/4 points)
• Who philosophizes about what (if anything) animals sense while being hunted (0/4 points)
• He is cast overboard and finds himself on the hunter's island, alone (0/4 points)
• The hunter knows him because of his reputation (1/4 points)
• When he learns the hunter's scheme he refuses to hunt alongside him (0/4 points)
• Hunted by the hunter, he flees into the wilderness trying to avoid detection (4/4 points)
• His only tool is a knife which the hunter gave him (0/4 points)
• In time he constructs traps to kill the hunter or his servants (4/4 points)
• He survives the ordeal by leaping over a cliff (0/4 points)
• Although the hunt is over, he confronts the hunter and duels him to the death (4/4 points)

The Island:

• Is a tropical island in the CaribbeanMediterranean (3/4 points)
• Surrounded by dangerous reefs which wreck ships (0/4 points)
• The island has a dangerous swamp (0/4 points)
• And high cliffs (0/4 points)

Total score: 29/100!

Conan faces another hunt tomorrow!

Unearthed: Worlds Unknown #4

It's been a while, so how about another instance of Unearthed? This is my occasional blogging series devoted to reading through an issue of a comic book series (usually an aging back issue). And this time out, why not Worlds Unknown #4?

Worlds Unknown was an unusual Marvel Comics series which ran eight issues from 1973-1974. Most of the issues featured adaptations of science fiction stories but the last two issues were an adaptation of the fantasy film The Golden Voyage of Sinbad. Issue #4 is an adaptation of Fredric Brown's 1944 short story "Arena".

I've read a bit of Fredric Brown but I've never read the original version of "Arena". I know of it thanks to its adaptation into a 1967 episode of Star Trek - it is one of the best-known episodes of the original series, thanks in part to the memorable lizard-man costume designed for the Gorn warrior who Captain Kirk fought.

This adaptation of "Arena" is by scripter Gerry Conway (best-known for his writing on Amazing Spider-Man) with art by John Buscema (the definitive Avengers and Conan the Barbarian artist) and Dick Giordano (the definitive inker of all those who ever inked). We open on a human named Carson who awakens on an alien world surrounded by blue sand. He's almost nude and has no tools or weapons.

Carson recalls how his fleet had recently encountered the "Outsiders", the first extraterrestrial life humanity had ever met; unfortunately, the Outsiders were malevolent and soon their fleets were battling Earth's vessels. Carson was about to engage an enemy craft in battle near Pluto when he saw a burst of light, then awoke in the blue desert. He notes a six-legged lizard in the sand.

A disembodied voice speaks to Carson and informs him that the war between the humans and Outsiders will inevitably lead to one exterminating the other. To prevent this destruction, this cosmic presence has brought Carson and an Outsider into the titular arena; the desert contains obstacles to keep the fight from finishing too quickly. The voice tells Carson "all you need to win is present on this world."

The Outsider (a big red alien with tentacles) comes charging up to Carson but strikes a force field which prevents it from reaching him. The field appears to extended below ground and can't be climbed over. Carson wonders if the force which abducted him intends for him to reason with the Outsider, so he tries to communicate through the force field to the Outsider. The response arrives through telepathy: "Kill Hate Death Kill Kill Kill".

The Outsider grabs one of the lizards and rips off its legs then throws it at Carson's feet. Carson is so disgusted by the Outsider's cruelty that it takes him a moment to realize the significance: non-living matter can pass through the force field. The two begin throwing rocks at each other until finally the Outsider retreats to plot strategy.

Carson begins to wonder if his isolation will drive him insane as he talks to one of the lizards. The lizard answers, "Hello," much to Carson's amazement. But he doesn't get to explore that revelation as the Outsider has built a catapult in order to hurl much larger rocks at Carson. Carson makes a fire and launches a fiery object at the catapult, burning it down.

Returning to the lizards, Carson sees the one which the Outsider mutilated is still alive and another lizard appears to be distressed by its condition. Carson puts the injured lizard out of its misery but now has to rethink his theory on how the force field functions. Theorizing that living creatures can pass through the field when they're unconscious, Carson hits himself in the head with a rock. This seems like a stupid plan, but I'm not the hero.

Anyway, it works: the Outsider closes in and Carson revives in time to grab a stone knife and stab the Outsider to death. Having won the cosmic being's contest, Carson is sent back to his spaceship, once again fully clothed. He still has a scar on his leg from where the Outsider hit him with a rock, but otherwise there's no evidence of his encounter. The human fleet commander informs Carson that the Outsider fleet has been completely wiped out; somehow, a chain reaction set off the destruction of the entire enemy fleet. Carson realizes the cosmic beings have made good on their promise.

(This issue also features "Lost... One World", a science fiction story by Bob Powell reprinted from 1957's Journey into Unknown Worlds #53.)

Thoughts: I'll have to read the original text, because I find this story a little unsatisfying. I rather like the Star Trek version of "Arena" where Kirk refuses to kill his enemy and instead proves his superiority by sparing the Gorn. In this tale, Carson tries to seek a peaceful solution but there is none to be found; perhaps that's because it was written against the backdrop of World War II, a struggle in which there was no hope of a peaceful outcome.

I guess what the story lacks, then, is a twist; in the Star Trek episode, Kirk winning by refusing to kill the Gorn is a satisfying twist ending. In this version, Carson does exactly what the cosmic beings tell him to. The "clever" solution is the part where Carson knocks himself out to give the Outsider an opportunity to close in. That's a really dumb solution, as it depended on Carson being able to predict how the Outsider would react and gambling on his waking up before the Outsider could kill him.

What makes the story philosophically troubling is the presence of the unidentified cosmic being who sets the contest in motion. It's essentially representing God and it takes the side of humanity against the Outsiders on the grounds that Carson kills one in a fair fight. It comes down to "might makes right" ideology which I find morally repugnant. The godlike deity performs genocide against the Outsiders as Carson's reward? I can see how this line of thinking would be wish fulfillment against the backdrop of World War II, but at the same time it feels disturbingly similar to the mindset of the people the USA were at war with at the time.

Anyway, with a mostly-naked man fighting tooth and nail against a monster this was clearly the kind of story John Buscema was meant to draw; it's Conan in space.

Space-Born Super Hero part 35: Avengers #97

Welcome back to 'Space-Born Super Hero' as I delve into the final chapter of the Kree-Skrull War storyline: Avengers #97 (1972) and the story "Godhood's End" by Roy Thomas and John Buscema (inks by Tom Palmer). We resume in the Negative Zone where Rick Jones is once again stranded and face-to-face with Annihilus. Annihilus recognizes him from before (Avengers #89) and closes in for the kill - but a ray of light shines out from Rick's forehead and drives Annihilus back. Rick has no idea what just happened.

Back in the Andromeda Galaxy, Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch try to free Captain Marvel, but he's trapped within a sphere of negative energy by the Skrulls until the Omni-Wave Projector is complete. Princess Anelle is quite skeptical about her father's schemes and the many Skrulls who have died because of him, but Emperor Dorrek is so miffed he muses he'd kill her if only she weren't "the sole offspring of an emperor!" It was Mar-Vell's use of the Omni-Wave Projector to call the Avengers that cast Rick into the Negative Zone, but Mar-Vell now smashes the device; he explains to the Scarlet Witch that the Omni-Wave Projector is only a communication device, provided the user is Kree - it's only in the hands of a non-Kree brain that it becomes deadly.

Rick is being dragged towards the explosive center of the Negative Zone but by concentrating reopens the portal to the Supreme Intelligence and confronts the being, demanding answers. While the Supreme Intelligence talks around the problem, Ronan is spying on them and sends Kree soldiers to kill the Supreme Intelligence and Rick. The Supreme Intelligence tells Rick to focus again on the super heroes of his youth (as he did in Avengers #92) and as he does so, the heroes Captain America, Blazing Skull, the Fin, the Sub-Mariner, the Vision, the Angel and the Human Torch are brought to life to defend Rick. Although Rick calls Cap and Namor "real" the other heroes are dismissed here as mere comic book creations brought to life (but later Marvel Comics would establish all of them as having existed in the Marvel Universe's past).

As the heroes eventually fade, the Supreme Intelligence directs Rick to use his power in a different manner, immobilizing every member of the Kree and Skrull races, bringing the war to a sudden halt. The Avengers on the Skrull throneworld and those battling the Skrull armada witness the effects; likewise frozen in his tracks is H. Warren Craddock, who is exposed as a Skrull and then killed by an angry mob. Rick still doesn't understand how he has the power to do these things, but the Supreme Intelligence explains he's unleashed Rick's dormant potential. "For untold eons, Skrull and Kree hae stalked the cosmic corridors like twin races of malevolent gods--never knowing each of their star-spanning clans has reached--a dead end. Live a billion billion years, neither will ever advance one more rung up the ladder of evolution. Now, they can but snarl at each other across the sea of space, hating both each other--and the human race--which they subconsciously sense to be their ultimate superiors!"

These ideas are similar to those which we learned of in Captain Marvel #16. Rick falls unconscious from the strain placed upon him, but the Supreme Intelligence summons all of the affected heroes (Avengers and Captain Marvel) and tells the unfrozen Captain Marvel that he and Rick must once again be merged in order to save Rick's life. Mar-Vell doesn't want to share his life with another person again, but unwilling to see Rick die, agrees; once more, they are bound together by the Nega-Bands. The Supreme Intelligence now reclaims leadership over the Kree, declaring that it hopes "this time, to be more deserving of his name!" The Supreme Intelligence sends everyone back to Earth, where they're met by Nick Fury and the real H. Warren Craddock. They determine the Skrull who impersonated Craddock and inflamed the public against aliens was the missing fourth Skrull who hadn't become a cow way back in Fantastic Four #2. It's only then that the assembled heroes realize Goliath is missing.

Thoughts: A fair bit happens in this issue and not much of it has to do with the Avengers, who take a serious backseat to the affairs of the Skrulls & Kree. In fact, despite all the emphasis given to Vision's feelings for the Scarlet Witch in earlier issues, their reunion at the climax of the war is left unremarked upon.

It's a strange kind of ending to a story which seemed to be steadily escalating, with the fleets of starships only just being introduced in the previous issue, but considering the backdrop against which this story was set - the immensely unpopular Vietnam War - it makes sense that the solution to the war isn't found in punches or ray beams.

Poor Captain Marvel had precious little to do in this story - in issue #89 he fled from the Avengers like a criminal, then spent almost every issue afterward being confined by someone (first the Kree, then the Skrulls) and only in #96 finally began fighting back. All he gets to do in the finale is bond again with Rick Jones, but this time his reluctance at doing so shows off his emotional side. It's strange way to test the waters and see if people wanted more Captain Marvel stories - essentially shoving him in the background of the story instead of the foreground - but I guess it paid off because Captain Marvel got his comic back!

Next: Mar-Vell is back in his own book! Captain Marvel #22!

Space-Born Super Hero Part 32: Avengers #94

Welcome to another entry in my blogging series 'Space-Born Super Hero' as I work my way through Captain Marvel's career prior to the arrival of creator Jim Starlin. Today I'm up to Avengers #94 (1971), another entry in the ongoing 'Kree-Skrull War' saga with the story "More Than Inhuman!" by Roy Thomas, Neal Adams, and John Buscema (inks by Tom Palmer). The Avengers have just defeated three Skrulls at a farmhouse in upstate New York. The team calls up Mister Fantastic to let him know about the Skrulls and ask if he can come up with a way to track the Skrull starship which escaped with the Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver and Captain Marvel aboard. Unknown to the team, the Vision phased inside the ship before it escaped and he's now spying on the heroes' captor, the Super-Skrull. The Skrull ship isn't headed for outer space, though - it's headed to Attilan, the home of the Inhumans! The Super-Skrull is about to launch a weapon to destroy Attilan when the Vision emerges from hiding and fights him. Unable to best the Vision, the Super-Skrull simply turns invisible and throws the lever on his weapon!

The ship emits a massively destructive explosion, but none of it pierces the defensive shield which surrounds Attilan's Great Refuge. The Super-Skrull is infuriated at the survival of the "Kree-spawn" (as noted back in Avengers#90, the Inhumans were engineered by the Kree) and it seems his only reason for the assault was that he considered them Kree-by-proxy. Vision considers continuing the fight against the Super-Skrull, but he worries that the Scarlet Witch could be killed in the clash, so he phases out of the ship and departs as the Super-Skrull sets his course for the Skrull Galaxy; at least now Vision can tell the other Avengers what he's learned.

As the Super-Skrull's ship uses a space-time warp to return to the Andromeda Galaxy, Mar-Vell ponders the situation from where he's been confined. He knows the Skrull will want to interrogate him for Kree strategic information and wonders what decision he would make if the Skrulls forced him to choose between the Kree and Earth; realizing he doesn't know the answer, he begins to think the humans were right to question his motives. The Super-Skrull's ship is met by heavy fire - not because of the Kree, but because the Super-Skrull is in exile and Emperor Dorrek has no reason to want him back. The only inch Emperor Dorrek is willing to grant the Super-Skrull is that he "pierced the nega-shield which the Kree have placed" around Earth. This is the first we've heard of this shield. Anyway, Dorrek contains the Super-Skrull inside an energy sphere. When the Super-Skrull attempts to blast his way out using the Human Torch's nova flame, he burns up his oxygen supply and falls unconscious; what a dope.

Dorrek is all too happy to accept the prisoners from the Super-Skrull's ship and transfers Quicksilver, the Scarlet Witch and Captain Marvel to his own prisons. When Dorrek notes Mar-Vell became a rebel for opposing Ronan, his daughter Anelle remarks, "If he hates Ronan, he must be a good man indeed." Anelle asks her father to release the trio, but Dorrek wants the secret of the omni-wave projector from Mar-Vell; Mar-Vell notes the Super-Skrull already tried and failed to accomplish that goal. Dorrek notes he can't "abuse" Mar-Vell because of the "Convention of Fornax" (I believe this is the first mention of Fornax, which is later established as a major galaxy in the Marvel Universe), so he'll simply torture Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch until Mar-Vell gives in. The siblings are placed in a confined room with a massive reptillian creature and a number of small, pink, fuzzy creatures. The green monster seems like the greater threat, so Quicksilver runs about to generate a cyclone, but the force of his movement causes the pink creatures - Druffs - to be flung everywhere and each time one of them strikes something hard, they duplicate themselves. Before you can say 'Tribble', the Druffs become so numerous that they threaten to smother the two heroes to death.

Mar-Vell can't bear to see Wanda and Pietro suffer such a horrible (albeit goofy) death, so he relents, noting those two had already saved his life once. Dorrek releases the Avengers from the cell and informs Mar-Vell if he doesn't turn over the secret of the omni-wave projector, the two Avengers will die.

We cut back to Earth as H. Warren Craddock is continuing his search for aliens in the midst, subjecting government employees to an alien-detection device; he starts by subjecting the research scientists who testified at the Avengers' hearing (Avengers #92); the scientists now regret having gone to Craddock with their information. After this, Nick Fury sends a coded message to the Avengers, suggesting they might want to get out of town. The team is rejoined by the Vision, who begins to explain what's happened when Craddock's forces appear outside Avengers Mansion and demand the heroes exit. Craddock has brought tanks and helicopters, as he didn't expect the heroes to come willingly: inside the helicopters are the Mandroids, three SHIELD agents wearing powerful suits of battle armor built by Tony Stark (a footnote informs readers they're not connected to the Mandroid from Captain Marvel#18, which you'll recall was also written by Roy Thomas).

Goliath is down to his last dose of growth serum but uses it to attack a Mandroid, only to get an electrical shock from him. The armor can also generate an anti-magnetic field to ward off Captain America's shield. However, these guys were trained by Tony Stark, so Iron Man has an obvious advantage, and that is... they don't know about his armor's roller skates!

... No, seriously, that's what he thinks his advantage is. He rolls himself at two of the Mandroids to bwol them over but the third fires a blast which makes Iron Man go tumbling head over heel. The Invincible Iron Man, ladies and gentlemen. Suddenly, Triton crawls out from the sewers below and-- the story is to be continued!

Thoughts: I've always enjoyed the Kree-Skrull dynamic which Roy Thomas first hinted at way back in Captain Marvel #2 and it is neat to see the scenes where Dorrek and Anelle comment about the Kree. As both races are villains in the Marvel Universe, it's intriuging to see what they think about each other.

Roy Thomas, Neal Adams and Tom Palmer had previously been the Inhumans' creative team over in Amazing Adventures, so they use the Kree-Skrull War as a means of wrapping up the series. This begins what will become a recurring tradition of audiences rejecting the Inhumans but Marvel creators forcing them into a more popular series anyway. It's the circle of life.

Next: The Kree-Skrull War (and those pesky Inhumans) continues into Avengers #95!

Space-Born Super Hero Part 21: Captain Marvel #18

Welcome back to 'Space-Born Super Hero' and my look at Captain Marvel #18 (1969) with the landmark story "Vengeance Is Mine!" by Roy Thomas, Gil Kane and John Buscema. We pick up precisely where the previous issue left off as Yon-Rogg monitors Rick Jones and decides "The moment has come for---action!" I mean, he did only just run from a fight with Mar-Vell, but sure, Yon-Rogg, 'action'. Rick is nearly struck by an out-of-control car but dodges it; Mar-Vell points out the driver could kill himself, so Rick uses the Nega-Bands to switch places with him. Mar-Vell stops the car and finds the driver is very groggy; Mar-Vell immediately concludes Yon-Rogg must have been responsible for this. It seems too cunning to be Yon-Rogg's idea (kill Rick rather than fight Mar-Vell), but I suppose he's right.

We see the Negative Zone from Rick's perspective for the first time; he's surrounded by a protective aura which defends from the weird environment, but otherwise he's simply floating in a void. When he remarks the Negative Zone "ain't about to replace Disneyland!" It prompts a reflection from Mar-Vell: "You have a sense of humor, lad... something I have yet to cultivate! Perhaps we may both benefit from the accident that has intertwined our two fates!" Indeed, one of the features which made Marvel Comics of the 1960s unique was the strong humour in every series which Stan Lee wrote - and up until the Thomas/Kane revamp, Captain Marvel had been bucking the trend. Mar-Vell flies to a nearby city then switches places with Rick again. Rick finds himself at a club where some extremely 1960s young people are hanging out, eating burgers and listening to bands. It's at this point that I suddenly remembered, oh yeah, Captain Marvel was created in the 1960s! Outside of Mar-Vell casting an illusion of protestors back in issue #12, the series up 'til now has avoided everything to do with the youth culture. Comics didn't have a particularly good track record when it came to depicting 1960s young people in comics, but heck, at least Captain Marvel's creators elected to reflect the world around them.

Rick doesn't think much of the band: "I hitched a diesel truck this morning that had more soul!" When challenged to see if he could do better, Rick offers to try; one of the musicians loans Rick a guitar and it turns out Rick has a natural talent as a performer. A waitress named Trina decides "He really does have soul!" but a club visitor named Blackie boos Rick. Rick decides to swap places with Captain Marvel to teach his critic a lesson, but Mar-Vell refuses to become involved in something so petty. Instead, Rick decks Blackie in the face! Rick decides he'd better leave, but a music promoter named Mordecai P. Boggs stops him declaring, "It's fate that has thrown us together, my boy!" Although Rick isn't interested in Boggs now, Boggs is the series' latest supporting cast member (and will occasionally follow Rick to other titles long after Captain Marvel). Boggs is meant to be a W. C. Fields-type character, to the point that Rick compares him to Fields. I guess Thomas didn't trust his audience to figure it out for themselves?

Captain Mar-Vell has given it some thought and has realized where Yon-Rogg must be: back at the Kree outpost where they last saw him. Wha--? Huh--? Whatever happened to the Helion, why wouldn't Yon-Rogg be there, surrounded by his crew? Well, Mar-Vell is right: Yon-Rogg really is back at the Kree outpost, where he's holding Carol Danvers hostage like a Republic serial villain. He has his hands on an outlawed Kree device called the Psyche-Magnitron; he bathes himself in rays of energy from the device, intending to become powerful enough to challenge the Supreme Intelligence. Yon-Rogg gains the ability to conjure up "anything ever devised by Kree science" using his mind and uses this to fashion the Mandroid (not to be confused with the SHIELD battle armour, which didn't exist at the time; we'll get there), a Kree robot used to hunt and execute traitors. So, some things never change... this series really likes pitting Captain Marvel against robots. Carol watches helplessly as Mar-Vell struggles against the Mandroid but finally flies at the Psyche-Magnitron; the Mandroid shoots an energy beam which hits the device; the Mandroid dissolves as the Psyche-Magnitron stops working.

Yon-Rogg draws a pistol to fight Mar-vell (not that his pistol did any good last issue), but as they struggle a wild shot hits Carol in the shoulder. Mar-Vell is enraged, even though Yon-Rogg protests, "I... I did not mean to hit her! My shot went astray! I was not responsible...!!" However, this only reminds Mar-Vell of how Una died because of a battle Yon-Rogg engaged. A real bloodlust enters into Mar-Vell now. "Can you give me... a girl's life, Yon-Rogg? Answer me... can you give life again to one you did slay??" But at the brink of killing Yon-Rogg, Mar-Vell pulls back; he realizes killing Yon-Rogg would be a hollow triumph.

Suddenly, the Psyche-Magnitron begins overloading due to the Mandroid's damage. Mar-Vell sees Carol is still alive and knows he only has enough time to save either her or Yon-Rogg. "Then... it must be the girl!!" The Psyche-Magnitron explodes as Mar-Vell flees the collapsing Kree outpost, leaving Yon-Rogg to his death. Feeling weak from his fight, Mar-Vell switches places with Rick Jones, but Rick inherits all of Mar-Vell's exhaustion and he collapses to the ground.

Thoughts: Yon-Rogg running back to the Kree outpost doesn't make sense and brings back bad memories of how this series used to spin its wheels, but this is, at last, the final appearance of Yon-Rogg. Yon-Rogg could have been an interesting villain as Mar-Vell's superior officer. Unfortunately, every writer - Stan Lee, Roy Thomas, Arnold Drake - made his plots so transparent. There was never anything clever in Yon-Rogg's efforts to kill Mar-Vell. Although at this point in the series he could have been called Mar-Vell's nemesis, he wound up staying dead because better villains came along - in particular, a certain fella named Thanos.

Unfortunately, this is Captain Marvel's farewell to Carol Danvers too (aside from a few cameos). With Carol and Yon-Rogg gone, the series has definitely been completely reinvented. It's a pity Carol couldn't have a place under the new status quo, but she's a security officer with NASA and the series is now about a wandering space hero who trades places with a roving guitar player. Treating Rick like Mar-Vell's secret identity unfortunately means all of Mar-Vell's supporting cast have to be let go. Fare thee well, General Bridges, Jeremy Logan and Chester Fenton. You were a kind of lousy supporting cast, but at least it was something.

Although Carol Danvers is gone, it's in this issue that she's granted her own superhuman powers. It won't come up 'til Ms. Marvel #1 in 1977, but given how powerful the Psyche-Magnitron was, it was a pretty clever idea to use this incident as the means to give her super powers. She would have been a forgotten supporting character (like Bridges, Logan & Fenton) were it not for her eventual career as a super hero.

Now, however, we have Mordecai P. Boggs and Rick's new status as a travelling musician. It's not a bad fit for Rick and will pretty become the #2 most defining thing about him as a character (#1 is that he's a sidekick). For now, the songs Rick's singing don't make me cringe, so we'll consider it acceptable.

Next: How about a Holocaust story? No, seriously, that's what we're being served in Captain Marvel #19!

Why do I like super heroes?

Last week I began preparing what would have been a series of posts about why I stopped reading, supporting and working for Marvel Comics. However, after looking over my first draft I felt disappointed in myself; there's no derth of upset comic book fans raging at how the industry has failed to live up to their standards and this attempted post was just another grain of sand on the beach.
Therefore, in the interest of producing something positive to say about the super hero genre, I asked myself: why exactly did I invest so much emotion into these characters?

While Jim Salicrup was editor of Captain America in the early 1980s, he pointed to the above panel from Avengers#4 (1964) by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby as a defining characterization of Captain America. Captain America is facing the Sub-Mariner in combat, an antagonist whose superhuman strength places him well above Cap's own human strength level. Cap is canny enough to realize how outclassed he is, but remains confident in his ability to win the fight. "He's stronger than me -- but I'll find a way to outmaneuver him!"

This scene has been echoed by other writers through the years and it's often invoked at moments of extreme cosmic peril. For instance, take the Avengers#177 (1978) by Jim Shooter & Dave Wenzel. In this, the climax of the lengthy Korvac Saga, the godlike Michael Korvac quickly plows through the Avengers' ranks, killing each member regardless of their might; in the midst of this, Captain America enters the fray and briefly holds his own against Korvac. "Or maybe you don't even count me -- because I'm just a man? Hear that, Mike? This is no god hitting you -- no super-man! Just a man! It doesn't matter how strong you are! I'll find a way to stop you! I'll find a way!" This brief turn of events ends as Korvac strikes Cap through a wall with so much force that it kills him. Later, of course, all of the Avengers are brought back to life.

Years later in Infinity Gauntlet#4 (1991) by Jim Starlin, Ron Lim & George Perez, the all-powerful Thanos battles what few heroes remain after he's already killed 50% of the universe. The entire fight is a joke; Thanos is in no real jeopardy and engages the heroes only to divert himself and hopefully win the favour of Death, herself. After Thanos kills most of the heroes, only Captain America is left standing. Even with so little hope of victory, Cap fights to the end: "As long as one man stands against you, Thanos, you'll never be able to claim victory. I've lived my life by those sentiments. They're well worth dying for." Captain America does indeed die (after landing one punch across Thanos' jaw), but is later brought back to life.
Why do I like Captain America? Because he struggles against superior forces, heedless of the cost.

Look also to Tales of Suspense#59 (1964) by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby. A gang of ten heavily armed criminals (one wearing Iron Man-like armour) break into Avengers Mansion and find Captain America is the only Avenger present. They assume they can handle just one Avenger - the only Avenger without super powers - but he proves to be more than a match for them. After he defeats the gang, Cap can only remark: "But it's lucky you broke in while I was on duty! If any of the other Avengers were here, you might have gotten hurt! They're really tough!"
Why do I like Captain America? Because he's humble.

In one of the best Avengers stories of them all, Baron Zemo leads a version of the Masters of Evil whose members both outnumber and overpower the Avengers' own. By the events of Avengers#274 (1986) by Roger Stern & John Buscema, the Black Knight has been beaten unconscious, Captain Marvel has been exiled to another dimension, Hercules has been beaten to the point of death and Captain America has been captured, leaving only the Wasp at liberty. Zemo lets his wrath get the better of him as he kicks the bound-up Captain America in the face, gloating he'll finally get revenge on Cap for supposedly killing his father. As he lies helplessly on the floor, bleeding from the mouth, Captain America tells Zemo he hasn't won yet... not while the Wasp is free. And he's right: the Wasp eventually returns to rescue the captured Avengers and round up Zemo's forces.
Why do I like Captain America? Because he believes in his friends.

During the days when Captain America was romantically involved with Diamondback, a former costumed criminal who was inspired to reform by his good example, Diamondback was nearly murdered by her enemy Snapdragon. Traumatized by the episode, Diamondback eventually tracked down Snapdragon and seemingly killed her. After struggling with this secret for more than a year, Diamondback finally confessed what she'd done to Cap in Captain America#424 (1994) by Mark Gruenwald and Phil Gosier. Diamondback thinks Cap could "never love a murderer," but he promises to first, ascertain if Snapdragon is dead and second, get Diamondback the best legal aid possible. He fully intends to help Diamondback redeem herself for the attempt on Snapdragon's life. "I can't presume to judge you. I don't know what you went through. But I do know you're basically a good person. You've more than earned my support."
Why do I like Captain America? Because he supports his loved ones and doesn't judge them, even when they've fallen short.

One of Stan Lee & Steve Ditko's best multiple part stories was a lengthy Doctor Strange arc where his foes Baron Mordo & Dormammu joined forces against him. With Mordo's spies found across the globe, Strange is constantly in danger as he searches for the means to combat Mordo & Dormammu. In Strange Tales#135 (1965), Strange's journey brings him to England, where he asks Mordo's former agent Sir Baskerville for help. However, Baskerville is secretly still an agent of Mordo. He contacts his master and Mordo teleports a minion to Baskerville's castle to destroy Dr. Strange. When Baskerville and the minion return to ambush Strange, they find he's gone, but a suit of armour suddenly comes to life. Believing Strange is inside the armour, the minion attacks it and pursues it through a passageway... right into the path of Dr. Strange, who defeats the minion with a single punch to the gut. How did Strange animate the armour? Simple: he placed his cloak of levitation inside.
Why do I like Doctor Strange? Because he wins fights not through superior power, but superior tactics.

My personal favourite comic book is Doctor Strange#55 (1982) by Roger Stern & Michael Golden. After his lover Clea breaks up with him, Strange is so despondent that his psyche breaks down; it's dangerous for a sorcerer to lose control of his senses because he can't tell what's real and what's being conjured by his subconsciousness. In a moment of anger, Strange wishes he'd "never learned the ways of magic." At this point, a spirit appears and claims his wish has been granted. Strange is soon thrust into a horrible, nightmarish world in which the super hero Doctor Strange... is just a fictional character who appears in comic books. Confronted with this horrible reality - one we readers know is all too true - Strange is coerced to commit suicide as the ultimate escape from reality. Although tempted, Strange finally refuses and fights back against the forces trying to destroy his life.
Why do I like Doctor Strange? Because in the depths of despair, he chooses life over death.

Much has been made of Stan Lee & Steve Ditko's "Final Chapter" story from Amazing Spider-Man, particularly the moment where Spider-Man lifts an immense burden off his back. Personally, there's another moment I like at least as much in Amazing Spider-Man#33 (1966): while trying to escape the fortress of Doctor Octopus and bring a life-saving serum to his Aunt May, Spider-Man is confronted by a gang comprising eight of Dr. Octopus' men. The hero is weary from his struggles, nearly delirious, but flies into battle with them. Without any grace or form, he swings wildly at his foes; the batle goes on for 2.5 pages as the henchmen hold their own for a time. Moments later, Spider-Man is startled to discover he's defeated all of his opponents without realizing it.
Why do I like Spider-Man? Because he's stronger than he thinks he is.
I could carry on, but I hope you've enjoyed this little list.