Friday, September 23, 2016

1 Weird Trick to Get Your Screenplay Made!

Can't sell that screenplay? Alimony wearing you down? Coke prices skyrocketing? No problem! Sell your screenplay to comics! Yes, comic book publishers are pleased as punch to have any whiff of Hollywood on their product! It doesn't take any skill or understanding of the genre to make comics - and you certainly don't have to draw! Sell your screenplay to comics and before long, you'll be a power player!

Because once you've made a deal for your screenplay in comics, you can turn around and sell it back to Hollywood! Boy, won't they feel foolish for turning you down last March, huh? Now your previously untested property has a following of 4,000 readers - more than enough to gamble an entire television series or film franchise upon!

But it's not only screenwriters who can get into the act! Wise comics professionals can sell their misogynistic, misanthropic man-child musings to Hollywood for fast cash! If Hollywood's got your number, then the comics industry will have to take notice of you!

Don't worry - Hollywood knows what's wrong with your comics! they'll smooth over the imperfections and apply their decades of experience so that it's no longer your voice, but that of a traditional three-act screenplay. What do you care? You've got your money!

It won't happen overnight. You might have to shop around for a decade. Persistence is the key. Also, you must actually publish your comic book - it's no longer good enough to simply claim the comic is in-development - you'll have to take a risk and publish. Some people in Hollywood actually know what "vaporware" is. But don't worry - the comics industry is full of people desperate for money; those chumps won't even ask for a percentage of what the film makes! It's like getting your storyboards for free!

But once you've published, the risk-taking is over. Coast your screenplay gently all the way to Hollywood's shores. The best part is, Hollywood doesn't understand how comics work! If you claim you've written a hit property - well, they'll just have to take your word for it!

Heck, you could theoretically bankroll an entire publishing empire around selling comics to Hollywood. It doesn't matter if only 1 out of every 5 comics makes it to the screen. Sell enough options to keep the lights on and publish just enough to get buyers curious.

Then - BOOM! Sold. Now you can get out of publishing and into film making, where your talents will be truly appreciated.

In fact, skip the comic. The concept art should be enough to seal the deal.

And don't forget who let you in on this trick! Seriously, don't. I just need you to look at my screenplay, it's really good...


Craig Dylke said...

I had this one idea about a talking Tyrannosaur...

Michael Hoskin said...

Make it a comic book and the movie will sell itself!